Narrative Writing Task – Grade Four
Student Work Sample – Score Point 4 Response 

     “Lucy!” I say, “you can talk!” “Yep,” says Lucy. “I've been able to talk for years, guess I needed someone I can trust and who won't make a big deal out of it.” I couldn't believe it. I pinched myself and no, it wasn't a dream. You see Lucy isn't my dog she's my friend Katie's dog, and Lucy said she was born in San Diego and lived there for the longest time. But once she got bigger there wasn't any more room in the tiny apartment in San Diego, so Katie bought Lucy on her vacation and she lives in Long Beach. “Please, the last time I saw my mother was four years ago, and I would love to refresh my eyes with my mother's beauty.” I thought about it. I didn't have anything to do today and now that I am 16 ½ I can drive anywhere I want too. “Okay, Lucy, just give me one more reason and I'll take you.” Hmmm...” “Oh I got it,” she says. “My mother doesn't know I can talk to humans.” “Okay, good enough.” I whisper.

     “Oh, do I hate Saturday traffic,” I say grumpily. We (me and Lucy) had been in the car for 3 hours! “Okay, we must be getting close.” I say for the 3^rd time. “Yep,” says Lucy “Next exit on Magnolia Street.” I turn to the farthest right lane and slow down when I get to the exit ramp.

     “Right or left?” I ask. “Right.” Lucy says like an ESPN announcer. “Then another right on Church Ave. and a left on Ashland Road and finally a left on Sea Lion Way. The adress is 2943, apartment L13.” We turn right, right, left, left and trudge up the stairs to apartment L13. I whisper, “Remember, don't speak English, you don't want your secret revealed.”
     I ring the doorbell, “Ding-dong.” An old woman about the edge of 70 appears at the door and says, “How may I help you young lady?” “Hi. My friend bought this dog about um, 4 years ago and I assume this is the apartment she was born in and I was wondering if this dog's mom still lived here?” “Oh,” the old lady said. “Why yes, yes she does. Sugar Plum, come here.” So Lucy and her mom had a little reunion and Mrs. Salom (the old lady) and I talked about how Lucy (Cookie Lips) was Katie's dog and how she had grown, a lot. When Lucy and I got in the car to go home, I said, “Cookie Lips?” “Don't rub it in.” Lucy said with a cute dog smile.